Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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