We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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