I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Randomize
