dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
