We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
