Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
