: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
