We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
