Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Randomize
