I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Randomize
