You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
