I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
foreskin is a definite game changer
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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