The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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