hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
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