Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize