Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
