i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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