i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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