so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Randomize
