Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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