dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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