my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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