I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize
