the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
