I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
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