You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
