3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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