everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
