i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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