is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize