Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
