It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Randomize