Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
