And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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