i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
