my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
