Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
