i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Randomize
