fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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