I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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