i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize
