Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
