Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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