Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
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