I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
