Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
