the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
