I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
