laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
