That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
