you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
