I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
