She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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