i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize
