Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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