to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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