11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
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