you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
